Sympathy And Staying Strong

A Story by Jenni Bailey

I am an adult with Cerebral Palsy, and when I was growing up, my Father told me ”stop feeling sorry for your yourself”. I guess, in his mind , it made a person weak, and make it look like the person was ”looking” for sympathy. All through my childhood and in parts of adulthood, I was made to believe sympathy towards yourself was not a good way to live life.

To my surprise, I slowly realized, that ”feeling sorry” for myself wasn’t unhealthy at all. Staying strong was actually harming how I looked at my life situation, not making it better! I’ve learned, if I feel I’m going to breakdown, do it for 15-20 minutes, have ”my moment”, get it out. Then when I feel calm enough, wipe my tears, take a few deep breaths, and pick up where I left off. Giving myself permission to breakdown has helped me so much!

I cannot ”stay strong” ALL THE TIME. I believe it makes me weak, I will eventually, fizzle like pop, and explode. It’s okay to allow myself to say ”I have a hard life.” Breaking down and feeling sorry for myself allows myself to understand ME. When I have the correct support, AND I DO, it also helps the level of my breakdown. I will no longer listen to people telling to not feel sorry for yourself, because they don’t know what’s best for me…I DO!