My Kept Story
Written by Jenni Bailey
I know his name
But, nothing is the same
I love him so
Still, no one will ever know
Yes, he is my brother
But he made me keep a secret between one another
No one saw me
When he took my innocence, my body
He had me in his clutches
He also took my forearm crutches
He had everything that was mine
He calculated his time
He knew the time of day
He prowling eyes made me stay
I knew every time he closed the door
I was damned, he took more
I knew what he was there to do
But I couldn’t tell you
I don’t know what hurt the most-the pain of him inside me or the fact I couldn’t tell
You probably wouldn’t take the news well
He hurt your daughter
I wanted the one person who was away, to know, my father
If I told you the the details, you’d fall to your knees
And ask yourself ‘’why is he free?’’
Or so I’d hope
Nope!
Here, I sit, in blame
For playing your son’s game
You saying I wanted it
Might as well say I flaunted it
Therapists invited you in to sit and talk
But you’ve told me:you’d just walk
You wanted no part in it
Wait! I need a minute!
It’s not a story, it’s just not
Have you forgot?
It was my childhood
I wanted you to stop it, but never could!
I pictured you there, even though you were gone
Because I wanted you to know what went on
It brings me to tears to remember what I went through
Dad, I wanted you!
I remember like it was yesterday
I can’t believe what you say
It hurts me to the core
You don’t care about what happened behind closed doors
I wish it did matter
Professionals don’t have to say, but you shot daggers at her
I can still feel the way it felt, the exact hurt
I have no one’s comfort
Only a few people know exactly what he did
Yes, I know, he was a kid
He did steal my innocence
It was something you didn’t prevent
Now, I’m afraid of this world
Because your son hurt your little girl
I hate him, but love him so
People saw anger, but don’t know:
He is no longer just my brother anymore
He now knows what I look like behind a closed door